Hi! My name is Laura Myszne, I’m a certified professional parenting educator and classroom management mentor, and I’m honored to be here today, with you.
Parenting is no piece of cake (you’ve probably discovered that by now), and no one prepared us for this challenging journey (don’t you wish someone had?!). We all have questions, insecurities and regrets. Luckily though, we have one another. For support, information and relief. We.Have.One.Another.
I’d like to share with you one of the first concepts that I learned and adopted during my training. The Adlerian concept of “having the courage to be not perfect.” The courage to be not perfect? Indeed. Perfection does not exist. At least outside Facebook ;) I’ve never met a perfect mom, a perfect wife, a perfect person. We are all not perfect and that’s what makes us unique and beautiful. We wouldn’t need one another and we wouldn’t live in communities if we were perfect. Have you thought about that? We would be self sufficient and very solitary. So being imperfect has its beauty. It allows us to connect.
So what does the courage to be not perfect have to do with parenting? Well, needless to say, being a parent is super hard, we have a lot of pressure on our shoulders and no parent knows all the answers, and because there’s no two children alike, no parent has yet figured out the perfect recipe to parent. Still many times, we are struggling to give more and more, fearful of what will be of our child if we don’t, embarrassed or uncomfortable to accept our imperfectness. Why thought? Because there’s this “perfect” mom on Facebook or at school that we look up to, or because we have someone close to us pointing out where we are supposedly missing out. Well, let me tell you brave momma, that in real life these people are as imperfect as you are and have as many questions as you do. If you get close enough to them, you will be able to see it.
You might be wondering what will happen to your child when you make mistakes (because you will make them, same as I do, same as every other parent on earth). If you listen close enough to an older generation they will say to you: “She’ll survive”, and you know she will but then the question of “at what price?” will arise. Exactly. At what price?
Allow me to share with you something that I learned a long time ago: as long as you are making your decisions based on your child’s real needs putting aside your own personal ones and your fears, as long as you empower your child to be independent, respectful and responsible, then she will be just fine. It is your job to provide your child with these fundamental tools to succeed in life. The rest, is up to her to figure out.
So Mom, embrace your imperfectness. That’s what makes you human, beautiful and precious.
Laura Myszne is a Mountain View based parenting educator and classroom management mentor, wife and mother of three. She’s been working internationally on this field that she loves for the last 13 years helping parents and teachers from different cultures feel understood and supported while empowering them with effective tools and answers which last a lifetime.
You may learn more about Laura and her work by visiting her page www.lovingboundaries.com If what you are looking for is food for thought, you might also want to visit www.facebook.com/lovingboundaries or join her Facebook group The Art of Parenting.