Don’t Ask Your Child To Apologize

Photo by Tim Norris

Photo by Tim Norris

As a parent educator, I advise parents not to ask their child to apologize when they’ve done something wrong. This surprises many people! Parents, eager to teach their children good social skills, assume this is the way you do that. When a child grabs a toy from his sibling, hits her sister, or kicks your car seat, parents want their child to feel sorry about what they did. Asking for an apology seems natural. The problem is that it isn’t very effective, and most likely will not result in the child having true regret. Try the method I suggest in this video clip. View it as an experiment and see what happens. Use this technique frequently and observe whether it has impact. It could take a while, but you may end up pleased with the results.


Janada Clark teaches Love and Logic throughout our community and has taught at Stanford and a number of schools, churches and organizations. She also teaches at Blossom Birth and Day One Baby. For class information and other resources visit 


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