Giving up the notion that we can get what we want from our kids by use of force is key to understanding how to parent without punishment. We may think that we’re getting what we want in the moment, but what is happening to the relationship? What are we really teaching our kids?
Posts Tagged ‘Child Development’
With all of the media attention on the obesity epidemic over the past few years, many parents are understandably concerned about helping their children maintain a healthy weight. Some parents have cut out junk foods and sweets altogether, whereas others worry that doing so will make their children crave them more and overindulge whenever they […]
Potty training is easier and happens faster if your child is truly ready in all three areas: physical, cognitive and social. But the big question is: how do you know when your child is ready? If you have never traveled this road before, you likely don’t even know what signs to look for. Take this […]
One quarter of the questions and concerns that parents discuss with their pediatrician are related to child development and behavior. As parents, we want to provide our children with opportunities to optimize development and create an environment in which our children can thrive.
While being the new parent of an infant is exhausting, it is also quite straightforward in the sense that if you are sure feed, clothe, bathe, cuddle and put to rest your new infant, he or she will be content and eager to interact, smile, play and learn. Toddlerhood, however, is a different ball game. […]
Before my son Alex was born, one of the gifts I received at my shower was a little security blanket/lovey that had the head and upper paws of a bear and the body of a tony blanket. Just one. (The photo shows them back in the honeymoon phase, when Alex was about six months old.)
Fast-forward a few months, and as soon as my very young son started showing signs of attachment to said bear, my good friend Kelly told, “Get more. Immediately. As many as you can find.” See, her daughter Sophia had a lovely that she eventually called her “Tickle Bunny.” Well, Sophia only had one Tickle Bunny and as he aged, and began to show unpleasant signs of just how much he was loved (rather battered, stained and otherwise besmirched), my friend faced a challenge. Her daughter didn’t want to give Tickle Bunny up to let it go through the wash. Ever. So Kelly’s mom went on a veritable quest to find more of the lovey Bunny. Which, after going to extraordinary lengths that only a grandmother would endure, she did. But did Sophia receive the new bunnies with joyful appreciation? Heck no. She called them “Imposter Bunnies” and completely shunned them. Thus Kelly’s advice to immediately procure more cuddle bears. Which I did.
We have, to date, six Booboos (my son calls him “Booboo”), so I have extra for when I needed to throw them in the wash or in case I can’t find one or—as happens all too frequently now— for when Alex throws or drops Booboo— typically somewhere I can’t reach while driving. After several cataclysmic meltdowns over not being able to reach Booboo while I am maneuvering down the bloody highway in horrible commute traffic, rain and other chaos, I started keeping “an extra” in the car.
So the other day, our morning was going well. We had made it through the morning gauntlet and were in the car on the way to daycare and work. Then he asked, quite matter-of-factly, for Booboo. And it occurred to me. Out of six Booboos, guess how many I had in the car? Zero. Nil. None.
Not. A. Single. Blue. Bear.
Of course Alex started to melt down, big fat tears of dejected disbelief. Because hell hath no fury like a toddler who is not immediately presented with his lovey when he calls for it.
Miracle of miracles, I managed to cajole him out of it by putting on his Music Together CD , breaking my own rule of avoiding all kid music until I have had time to consume the requisite amounts of coffee because I JUST CANNOT TAKE IT first thing in the morning … but it was either that or watch as he morphed into the hysterically screaming tantrum child. So I faced the music.
So, last week out of nowhere (7-year-old) William tells me he wants to learn how to ride his bike. From 0-60 it became urgent — he needed to learn right now! We didn’t have a bike that was his size, so there was some delay getting organized.
It’s amazing just how many big thoughts can be boiled down to a simple idea. Take the topic of friendship. Ask an adult what friendship is, and you’ll probably get a rather detailed and (possibly) dull answer. Maybe a laugh and an embarrassing story. Ask one of the younger set, and you’ll discover that friendship […]
Potty training is easily one of the most talked about events in the life of a toddler, yet it is often cause for great concern and stress among parents. Despite the hundreds of books and videos telling you the “simple” way to potty train your child, the majority of children learn to use the toilet […]
A couple of weeks ago, my son was lucky enough to spend a week with his great grandparents. In preparation for our trip I crammed tons of toys and books into suitcases. When we left, I was nervous that I didn’t pack enough to entertain my son for an entire week.
Bilingual Education has long been the norm in much of the world, but is only recently gaining more interest and publicity in the US. Despite some states’ politicizing of bilingual education, several types of immersion programs have a solid history in the US, and it is very exciting to see interest in them grow. More […]
All devoted parents want to raise their children to be successful. We want to give our kids the best shot at creating a good life for themselves. However, it is important that we understand just how we, as individuals and parents, define success. How do you define success for your child? Perhaps it means achieving […]
How often have you found yourself in a tizzy, searching for your child’s shoes as you’re heading out the door? Hunting for, picking out and putting on shoes is one of the many everyday chores that can add to our stress as parents, provoking feelings of frustration, overwhelm and resentment. This parent-child dynamic can continue […]
My preschooler’s birthday is coming up and we’ve come up with a short list of children he wants to invite to his party. He doesn’t want “girls” which made me chuckle (last year we had both boys and girls). I rattled off the names of boys at his school, and he wants to invite all […]
Congratulations! A baby is on the way. One of your most important jobs will be to prepare your toddler for the role of big sister or big brother. This can seem challenging, but with a few tips, the last few months of your pregnancy can be an exciting time for your toddler and the entire […]