Giving up the notion that we can get what we want from our kids by use of force is key to understanding how to parent without punishment. We may think that we’re getting what we want in the moment, but what is happening to the relationship? What are we really teaching our kids?
Posts Tagged ‘Family’
Honesty and truth telling are character traits learned in the home. It is a family value that parents strive to instill in their children. It could seem daunting, but not if you consider where it starts — with you. Young children tell “stories” — fibs or lies from time to time. That is a natural […]
There was a time in American history when women didn’t have the right to vote; when domestic violence was considered a private matter; when slavery was legal. Thankfully, America got its head out of its butt and began to protect these precious people. So, what about the children? Why should children be any less protected […]
A new book questions claims that today’s kids are more spoiled and narcissistic than previous generations. It seems as if everyone has something negative to say about the younger generation. Critics call today’s kids narcissistic and spoiled, blaming parents for being too permissive and overprotective.
… when you maybe don’t want to. All of us have been young children, as limited in our worldview as we were in our abilities to reach the countertop or into a high drawer for some scissors to go run around with. All of us have had to settle, for better or worse, with our small […]
On a not-so-long but very-long ride in the car the other day, I overheard some silly jokes in the back seat . . . . What do you say when someone keeps stealing your cheese?
A recent family dinner conversation went like this:Dad: I don’t know. I think if you had wanted to be committed to me on our first date, I would have been, um, . . .Mom: Thrilled! You would have been thrilled! Yes?
PAMP’s Annual Family Day will be held on Sunday, July 20th. Mark your calendars! When: Sunday July 20th, 2014, 10 AM – 1 PM Where: Mitchell Park, Palo Alto, Redwood & Pine Grove Group Areas Family Day is one of PAMP’s biggest events of the year to celebrate its member families and to show appreciation for the many volunteers who help make the […]
We civilized folk seem to be addicted to competition — obsessed with who is the best and the worst, who has the most and the least, who are the winners and the losers. In our culture we habitually frame most everything in terms of conflict and competition. “Do you love dancing? … You should enter […]
I’d like to make a suggestion to all of the fathers out there when our special day comes on the third Sunday of June: honor your kids. Make the day about them, about what they have taught you and celebrate how you have grown because of them. Spend the day telling them very specific things you remember […]
Dear Mike Francesca, Boomer Esiason, and Craig Carton, I have no idea who you are. Really, I don’t. Sorry. I had to look up how to spell your names for this article. But I heard what you said about New York Mets player Daniel Murphy [missing two games for paternity leave]
For months my husband and I have been trying to figure out the best way to make the most of the 1.5 hours we have with our two boys during the work week before bed time. Although we both would struggle with not showing our exhaustion and stress from being at the office earlier that day and instead show our kids “I’m excited to see you and spend time with you as much as you are!”, we couldn’t find the right balance.
We attempted to do everything together with our two young boys (now 2 and 4 years old), but realized that the needs of each was difficult to tackle at the same time in such a short period. From having them alternate what they wanted to do each night or us picking an easy win of watching a Leap Frog video for 20 minutes before reading books, we were about to give up.
I know that I was very lucky that both my husband and I could be home with the kids for dinner and bedtime most of the time, but it pained me that the small window of time was not ideal or best used. After months and months of unsuccessful attempts, I finally came up with an option that made us all happy.
Every night we would split – then switch. For example:
Monday: Mama and 4 year old would do an activity that 4yo would pick while Papa and 2 year old would do an age appropriate activity for the 2yo. Then after bath, Mama would read books to the 2yo and put him to bed and Papa would do the same for the 4yo.
Tuesday: Mama was with 2 yo and Papa with 4 yo, then after bath time they would switch…
and so on…
It’s been about a week of this and I have to say not only do we feel we get to have some one on one time with our kids and build a bond, but at the same time the kids get to enjoy an activity that they love.
Sounds simple right?! Just wish my brain would have as much energy as my heart when it would come to these types of things sometimes.
After reading stories in the media about the “mommy wars,” I assumed that other moms would be judgmental and closed off. Thankfully, this has not been the case. I was reminded of graciousness of other parents on a recent plane trip. My son missed his nap and was having a total meltdown – nothing made him happy. Out of the blue, the dad of two boys sitting nearby came over with a lollipop and a smile. While the lollipop didn’t help, I appreciated the gesture. It wasn’t condescending, it was helpful and given with a spirit of having been there before. I hope I can do the same for someone else.
It’s easy to think of Mother’s Day as just the one holiday we reserve nationally for honoring our mothers. However, isn’t every day an opportunity to honor mothers? My son reminds me of this all the time when he shows appreciation to his mamma for fixing him a snack, setting up play dates with friends […]
What are the odds that the baby could top last night’s performance? Because last night she pooped in the tub. And it was entertaining and indirectly helpful. Entertaining because I thought about that dookie scene in Caddyshack, that and my wife’s reactions to the baby’s excremental behavior are always worth a chuckle. Then the baby […]