I recall a conversation a few years back between two carpooling mothers.One was complaining about a particular female child in her carpool, who, in her eyes, was “not a morning person” and with whom she found it difficult to “engage” and “connect.” This mother said this child was “quiet,” even moody. It bothered her that […]
Posts Tagged ‘Relating’
Twice yearly, I pay visit to my beloved redwoods along the coast or somewhere in the northern most part of our beautiful, diverse state. It is a much needed pilgrimage, away from my schedule, computers and the usual demands of everyday life. One never knows—but prays—that whoever
Giving up the notion that we can get what we want from our kids by use of force is key to understanding how to parent without punishment. We may think that we’re getting what we want in the moment, but what is happening to the relationship? What are we really teaching our kids?
If you’re pregnant or thinking about getting pregnant, it’s intriguing to explore ideas of how much you can actually get to know your baby before it’s born. There are many ways you can attempt to ‘tune in’ and make contact, and strengthen the bond with your baby. Plus, it’s fun! Whether you have actively tried […]
Parents today struggle to be present with their kids as the 24-hour connectedness to technology and work often pull attention away from the present moment. Children feel this distractedness and act in ways to pull attention back to the present moment, to them, to meet developmental needs. Children haven’t changed much over the ages: their […]
I have been wrestling with a bad feeling when I go to change the boy’s diaper. He often doesn’t want to interrupt whatever he’s doing to get a diaper change, even when “it’s really time.” I can get by with distraction, making it fun, all that stuff. The hard part is the way he protests: […]
… when you maybe don’t want to. All of us have been young children, as limited in our worldview as we were in our abilities to reach the countertop or into a high drawer for some scissors to go run around with. All of us have had to settle, for better or worse, with our small […]
I had become a horrible parent. Up to this point, parenting had been the easiest job I’d ever had. My wife and I were champs. We were (are) attachment parents; co-slept and never felt tired; managed to navigate New York, Paris, Amsterdam and every place in between without a stroller until, at two years old, […]
We civilized folk seem to be addicted to competition — obsessed with who is the best and the worst, who has the most and the least, who are the winners and the losers. In our culture we habitually frame most everything in terms of conflict and competition. “Do you love dancing? … You should enter […]
Has your child ever threatened to run away? They might. Someday you could hear the dreaded claim: “That’s not fair!” or “You are a bad mommy. I’m going to run away.” If this ever happens, how will you handle it? Will you threaten your child with taking away toys or even a spanking? Will you […]
While being the new parent of an infant is exhausting, it is also quite straightforward in the sense that if you are sure feed, clothe, bathe, cuddle and put to rest your new infant, he or she will be content and eager to interact, smile, play and learn. Toddlerhood, however, is a different ball game. […]
Effective parenting is often counterintuitive. My favorite time to teach early literacy is when a child is wailing or hopping mad. Sounds crazy, no? The idea of grabbing a pen and paper when a child is screaming, kicking their heels or simply crying because they miss mommy does seem odd at first.
It’s amazing just how many big thoughts can be boiled down to a simple idea. Take the topic of friendship. Ask an adult what friendship is, and you’ll probably get a rather detailed and (possibly) dull answer. Maybe a laugh and an embarrassing story. Ask one of the younger set, and you’ll discover that friendship […]
A few years ago I was standing at the entrance to Safeway with my daughter, Sydney, who was then around 2 years old. She was entranced by the automatic doors, opening and closing with each passerby. After a few minutes, an older man came through the doors straight towards us, bent down and said to […]
It’s sad and shocking, but if we stop making love after we have kids, we will lose our partners. I almost did. After I had kids I went from a loving, blushing bride to a bitter—well, you can fill in the blank. I loved my little ones with all my heart, but something about their arrival […]