Posts Tagged ‘Relating’

Member Musings: Parenting Without Punishment

member-musings

Giving up the notion that we can get what we want from our kids by use of force is key to understanding how to parent without punishment. We may think that we’re getting what we want in the moment, but what is happening to the relationship? What are we really teaching our kids?

Connecting to your Baby Before Birth

https://www.flickr.com/photos/magpie372/4835827453

If you’re pregnant or thinking about getting pregnant, it’s intriguing to explore ideas of how much you can actually get to know your baby before it’s born. There are many ways you can attempt to  ‘tune in’ and make contact, and strengthen the bond with your baby. Plus, it’s fun! Whether you have actively tried […]

You Can Be the Parent You Want to Be

Flickr http://tinyurl.com/q4hmh7t

Parents today struggle to be present with their kids as the 24-hour connectedness to technology and work often pull attention away from the present moment. Children feel this distractedness and act in ways to pull attention back to the present moment, to them, to meet developmental needs. Children haven’t changed much over the ages: their […]

Member Musings: Respecting my Child

member-musings

I have been wrestling with a bad feeling when I go to change the boy’s diaper. He often doesn’t want to interrupt whatever he’s doing to get a diaper change, even when “it’s really time.” I can get by with distraction, making it fun, all that stuff. The hard part is the way he protests: […]

Member Musings: Why It’s Important To Play With Your Child…

member-musings

… when you maybe don’t want to. All of us have been young children, as limited in our worldview as we were in our abilities to reach the countertop or into a high drawer for some scissors to go run around with. All of us have had to settle, for better or worse, with our small […]

I Made Him Fear Me

Photo by Bilyana Boyadjieva

I had become a horrible parent. Up to this point, parenting had been the easiest job I’d ever had. My wife and I were champs. We were (are) attachment parents; co-slept and never felt tired; managed to navigate New York, Paris, Amsterdam and every place in between without a stroller until, at two years old, […]

Competition vs. Creativity

Flickr photo https://flic.kr/p/cdfNd

We civilized folk seem to be addicted to competition — obsessed with who is the best and the worst, who has the most and the least, who are the winners and the losers. In our culture we habitually frame most everything in terms of conflict and competition. “Do you love dancing? … You should enter […]

Run Away?

Photo by Rebecca Alison

Has your child ever threatened to run away? They might. Someday you could hear the dreaded claim: “That’s not fair!” or “You are a bad mommy. I’m going to run away.” If this ever happens, how will you handle it? Will you threaten your child with taking away toys or even a spanking? Will you […]

Parenting by Connection

Flickr photo https://flic.kr/p/9rJhBq

While being the new parent of an infant is exhausting, it is also quite straightforward in the sense that if you are sure feed, clothe, bathe, cuddle and put to rest your new infant, he or she will be content and eager to interact, smile, play and learn. Toddlerhood, however, is a different ball game. […]

Teach Literacy During Temper Tantrums

Photo by Rebecca Alison

Effective parenting is often counterintuitive. My favorite time to teach early literacy is when a child is wailing or hopping mad. Sounds crazy, no? The idea of grabbing a pen and paper when a child is screaming, kicking their heels or simply crying because they miss mommy does seem odd at first.

A Kid’s-eye View of Friendship

Photo by naoyafujii

It’s amazing just how many big thoughts can be boiled down to a simple idea. Take the topic of friendship. Ask an adult what friendship is, and you’ll probably get a rather detailed and (possibly) dull answer. Maybe a laugh and an embarrassing story. Ask one of the younger set, and you’ll discover that friendship […]

How We Talk About Our Kids Shapes Who They Can Become

Photo by Rebecca Alison

A few years ago I was standing at the entrance to Safeway with my daughter, Sydney, who was then around 2 years old. She was entranced by the automatic doors, opening and closing with each passerby. After a few minutes, an older man came through the doors straight towards us, bent down and said to […]

Intimacy: How to Get Your Sexy Back

Photo by Patricia Rossi Photography

It’s sad and shocking, but if we stop making love after we have kids, we will lose our partners. I almost did. After I had kids I went from a loving, blushing bride to a bitter—well, you can fill in the blank. I loved my little ones with all my heart, but something about their arrival […]

Speaking from Your Heart

relationship

I feel like I have to walk around on eggshells with my husband and his family: If I’m not VERY careful, they get upset and either blame themselves or me or both. But the result is I have all this stuff bottled up inside. There are natural concerns about really saying what’s on your mind, […]

13 Tips on Raising Happy Children Every Loving Parent Should Know

happychildren

Not so long ago, Anabel saw something weird. She was out running and noticed a chauffeured sedan with a group of students going to some major event—probably a prom or maybe a birthday party. That’s not the weird part. The weird part was this: Not one kid was talking to any of the